Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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