Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
