I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
