You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
