Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
