listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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