I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At least make sure they are 18
Why
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
