very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
