I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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