I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
