Already got asked if we're dating
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
