I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have already put on my inside pants.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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