i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
