2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize