Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
