I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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