I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
