ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
where are my eyebrows?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
