from now on my penis is your penis
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize