Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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