That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
