She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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