im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
