sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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