the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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