look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
