I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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