she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
