How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
