the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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