Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
