hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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