Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
