not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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