Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
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Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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