i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
