I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sponge bath it is.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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