just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
