I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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