I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
