I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
