I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
