I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
