peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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