Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
