He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize