sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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