What did we do last night that was yellow?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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