So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
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Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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