So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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