I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
