Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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