My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
