It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
