you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
