I wanna passion pit in your ass
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
