She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
