At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My feet surprised me
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