Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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