Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
