I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize