I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
