it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
