I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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