I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize