i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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