I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i came on her dog
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
