Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize