You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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