Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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