Soap is not a condiment
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
